Life can be going smooth as sail ride on a low tide Sunday. The only worries you may have are where is my favorite mug for my coffee or if you must do laundry after work. Every day is the same routine to the point that you begin to make decisions unconsciously; this phase is called the autopilot phase. Nothing out of the ordinary strikes you unless it’s a weekend trip or event, other than that, it’s the same sh*t, different day. Until you receive that one call/notice that throws a wrench in your day, week, or even life. I call this the dark teacher moment. Dark teacher moments are mere reminders that you’re human and you don’t control everything you thought you did. Let me explain the most common dark teacher moments with a counteract or resolution:
- Failures. Whether it’s in school or at work due to performance. Failing hurts egos and can dismantle your hope to succeed.
Counter: Don’t be afraid to fail. Your fear of failing will always overshadow your hope of success. Practice and find resources that will help you excel and break the old routine. Simply put, your “best” is sometimes not enough. It’s not a complete failure if you learn from it.
- Losses. You are going to lose some stuff in life. I am not talking about games, like actual stuff, whether it’s in a robbery or you just misplaced something. This can shift your life a bit especially if it’s something you rely on daily and hits close to home.
Counter: Replace it! If it was so important to your life, you’re going to find a way to replace it with something similar or even better. If you never replaced it, then chances are you never needed it to begin with. Think of it as an extra step to decluttering your life and a learning lesson to secure what you need to.
- Breakups. These suck; no one ever gets in a relationship only to break up later. It applies to friends or significant others. Let’s face it, it’s hard enough to deal with your own problems, it’s even more difficult to deal with both yours and significant others. The beauty of breakups is that it becomes a time to learn to love yourself. Oh yeah and options!
Resolution: There is none; be patient, love your own company, swipe right and just wait until the right person presents at the right time.
- Terminations. Even though I never had the luxury of getting laid off or fired, it is safe to presume that it’s not a nice feeling. Seeing my close friends and family members getting terminated seemed inhumane especially when it comes as a total shock. One may rely on a weekly income just to break even with bills and to lose that reliable check is a true reality check.
Resolution: There is no way to be ready for an exit that you have no control over, but there is a way to prepare financially for any type of exit.
- Deaths. The hardest teacher of them all. There is no certain way to pass this test. Death is the inevitable event that constantly reminds us that our physical presence is temporary on Earth. Not the easiest thing for most people to grasp.
Resolution and Counter: Accept the cycle of life and it’s even easier to accept when you don’t fear death. I personally can say I don’t fear death mainly due to my belief. It is not to be confused with my fear of not achieving my idea of success and legacy before dying. This strikes home because every emotion you can imagine is felt from the moment you receive the news to day of the burial, and some days after that.
I’d like to tell you everything is always going to be okay, but the truth is it’s not. I wish the sun was out every day so I can enjoy the beach; but the joys of the sun wouldn’t be such a joy if we didn’t have the rainy days. These dark teachers are just like the rainy days; it is essential to survival and growth. The dark teacher moments will always be a test of faith and perseverance. And as referenced in the Bible (NIV James 1:3), “2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”